Get tested and talk to your partner: how to have safer sex after age 50

At 51, I want many more years of a healthy, happy sex life. So I decided to compile my own guide

When I got divorced after 28 years of monogamy, I was excited to be having sex again, but had concerns. I was 48, and the last time I’d been single was in the 90s; terrified of pregnancy and hyperconscious of HIV/Aids, I hadn’t considered condomless intercourse an option back then.

Now, at 51, I’ve been wondering how important barrier protection is for me. Though I haven’t hit menopause, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) says that “by 45 getting pregnant naturally is unlikely”, and HIV/Aids prevention and treatment have improved significantly in the last three decades.

When I consulted with my physician, she said I should still “be careful” but didn’t provide specific guidelines.

Frustrated, I started researching. I found books on safer sex for older adults, such as Never Too Late: Your Guide to Safer Sex after 60 by Dr Shannon Dowler. But I wanted something more concise, like the pamphlets we saw as teens. I want many more years of a healthy, happy sex life. So I decided to compile my own guide, with expert advice about how to have safer sex as an older adult.