Financial bullying can ruin a marriage: first-person stories

When partners consider finances, when is it ‘my’ money, and when it is ‘our’ money? Guardian readers shared their experiences

A survey of about 1,000 Americans found that one in 10 would describe their partner as a financial bully. Our readers, however, insist that that might be a label easily assigned to a partner who is simply being financially responsible.

When we put out a call to out readers last week to see if any of them had similar experiences, we found that many of you wouldn’t define the actions described as financial bullying. Instead, quite a number of you insisted that keeping track of your partner’s expenses was simply budgeting and being financially responsible.

Adam: “Having disagreements about spending in a relationship is hardly bullying, it is natural and unavoidable and has happened since the dawn of money.”

Rebecca: “I thought it was called teaching financial responsibility.”