‘In this new car, I feel patronised’: which driver assistance systems actually improve safety?

Modern cars are fitted with features like autonomous emergency braking and fatigue monitoring. But do they support motorists or drive them to distraction?

This new car I’m test-driving boasts all the latest bells and whistles – or, rather, beeps and bings. Peer sideways for too long checking traffic and the car emits an irritating sound. Should I take a hand off the wheel to scratch an ear, I’m admonished with a strident beep.

When the car determines it’s too near a white line, it tugs the wheel against my hands and brakes as a car slows ahead. Its haptic “buttons” feel like fingers pressing back – as if an invisible presence has its hands and feet on the controls: a ghost in the machine I’m inside.

Heading back to the caryard, a cryptic tone sounds. From the back seat, salesman Anthony says it’s the over-speed warning. We’re still on the 40km/h service road but the car “saw” the yard’s 5km/h speed-limit sign. Anthony advises disabling it on startup. “Most people leave it on, though,” he says. “Saves you getting done for speeding.”

But Anthony has turned off the car’s fatigue-warning feature. The car doesn’t “know” me yet, so won’t detect if I’m tired anyway. “It doesn’t like sunglasses, either,” he says.